| while I kicked it, weak and weary |
[Dec. 7th, 2009|08:54 am] |
Saturday I decided to go for a run. I should have stayed home. :) Lately I've had the feeling that I feel like shit because I don't ever get out and move around anymore. I have been more inactive in the last year than ever in my entire life. Part of that was because I was pregnant and all that, and on medical bed rest. That bed rest really wiped me out, I think that every single muscle in my body completely whithered away. It was really hard to even start caring for my children after they were born because I was so weak from lying down for so long. Well anyway saturday seemed like it was high time to remedy the situation, I decided to go running even though I HATE running with a firery and burning passion but it's free.
I knew that it would be hard and that I would probably end up walking a lot but this was laughable. I ran out the door and past our house then turned to go up a little hill to the perimeter trail that weaves around the mountains and is really pretty. I didn't even make half way up the hill before I was completely winded, I dropped to a walk, told myself that I must at least walk to the top of the hill, but I didn't, I stopped and actually sat down. For a long time. You have to understand the distance involved, no more than a hundred feet to the top of the hill. I ran for fifty feet at an easy jog and died! I will say for myself that we are at very high altitude (7500 ft) so that's probably it right?
Anyway I kept going after I caught my breath and maybe ran for 10% of the time. It was great! It was probably my worst run ever. |
|
|
| Zombie Reagan Raised from Grave to Lead GOP |
[Dec. 1st, 2009|08:26 pm] |
Why is "The Onion" so funny? It is just so funny!
Anyway,
A maternal revel.
I am holding miss mizzyizzybelle asleep against my chest right now and waxing poetic about motherhood. I have always liked babies, but never been super good with them. They vaguely mystified me until I had my own. I love my own babies, I firmly hold that ones own children are infinitely more preferable than other peoples children. I find it amazing how fascinating wittle babwies are, they come out knowing nothing and everyday is so new and exciting. Max and Isabelle are at my favorite baby age now which is around six months. They are so sweet and gurgle and coo and love me more than anyone has ever loved anyone. How totally humbling it is being loved that much. |
|
|
| bam |
[Nov. 24th, 2009|10:21 pm] |
Today was my Thanksgiving. Eric's fam-o-lee came out to see us and then are returning to see other dinners on Thursday. Eric and I have no other dinner to return to (boohoo) so we shall take ourselves out to Chinese Thursday evening. Doesn't that sound like a fun thing to do? We'll probably make some more pie as well cause that doesn't seem like a bad idea either.
So anyway, I made a really amazing dinner that I am super proud of and we shallll proceed to review it in a very humble manner.
First,
The Turkey.
Ahhhhhhhhh. So last year at Thanksgiving my sister in law made a really great brined turkey. It was the first time such a thing had been contrived in my families house and it was a smashing hit. I decided then and there I could never go back to plain ole dried out turkey again. But I was scared. I called Candice. She refered me to Emeril ("bam! anotha notch"). I read his recipe, many times, so many times I became one with it. I brined a turkey. It was incredible.
Pan gravy *check*
Savory mushroom dressing *check* (No leftovers, a very good sign)
Smashed sweet potatoes with caramalized apples *check*
Mashed potatoes *check* (were cold on the table :()
Roasted rutabagas and brussel sprouts *check* (wasn't crazy about the b-sprouts being done that way, but the rutabagas were delish. brussel sprouts are a regular fixture at thanksgiving)
Cranberry sauce *check* I used Liz Koch's recipe :)
Black bean soup *check* since Ben is a vegetarian.
Spinach salad, never made it to the table, but nobody missed it.
And a baby is crying. The end. |
|
|
| Speaking of my hypocrisy |
[Nov. 21st, 2009|08:07 pm] |
The Tesuque flea market is soooooo amazing! First of all, Tesuque is awesome because, both, Cormac McCarthy and Val Kilmer live there. Second, it's awesome because there are amazing things to see at the flea market. New Mexico is quite the artsy place to be, which means there is plenty of artsy, fun, cool, stuff to buy, stuff you would never see anywhere else. (If I had a wish list it would be EVERYTHING at the Tesuque flea market, ha, just kidding. . . maybe. . .) Anyways, it's November, which tells me the flea market is closing very soon for winter, which tells me, bargins are to be had. Eric and I found this out last year when we did our xmas shopping there, that most stuff will be had at at least half its original price, and sometimes less depending on the desperation of the seller. There are fun antiques, art, clothes, boots, hats, food, pottery, baskets, jewelry, jewelry and more jewelry. I LOVE GAUDY GAUDY JEWELRY!!!! It's so hard when you're there not to buy everything you see. Mostly I showed restraint, I even forbade Eric to let me buy this awesome necklace that the lady who made it was trying to push on me for 60% off. I bought one for a friend though and I wore it around town to make sure it was safe. I did walk out of there with some handblown margarita glasses (but those are a necessity, right?). Eric bought some fun bottled sauces, like peach habanero sauce. Everything was so sunny and cheerful, and the vendors were so friendly, that we had a really nice afternoon.
And the guy at Sam's club asked me out on a date tonight... a little weird, but I just played it off like it was a joke.
And we went grocery shopping which means we get to eat something other than beans for the next few days.
I'll say it was a good day. |
|
|
| i hate the media |
[Nov. 16th, 2009|11:52 am] |
So I need an ear to rant. I was just on msnbc checking out the newslines and I cruised over to the nutrition section, I should have spared myself... it hurts me to see the things they do, the mischief they cause. Two of the worst things: the first, "scientists creating healthy ice cream," like you could actually improve in a lab upon as wonderful a thing as ice cream. Because if you put pro-biotics and fiber in full fat ice cream then people can be guilt free, oh but wait, fiber doesn't taste good in ice cream? Well I guess we'll have to put other chemicals in there to modify the texture too, no biggie.
The second was unicef has noticed that some people in third world countries seem to be hungry. The solution, vitamin A supplements. Doesn't it seem somewhat backwards to give a malnourished person vitamin supplements? What is wrong with these people. What happened to food? Why do we hate on it so much?
And in general I'm annoyed at the general stupidity of the news. Like, what? oh how studies show that teens haven't actually changed their physical habits in the last two decades but they keep getting fatter. huh, weird. That article concluded with a scientist mystified saying: well, maybe it has something to do with diet? Yeah, maybe.
Alright, if I were to mandate everyone read one book, it would currently be "Real Food" by Nina Plank. Do yourself a favor, read it, then practice it. You will feel better. Your food will taste better. And you too will sigh and shake you head sadly when you read these headlines. |
|
|
| The Christmas list |
[Oct. 30th, 2009|10:50 am] |
So here is my beef. I don't like Christmas lists. They seem childish and self centered to me. They leave a bad taste in my mouth. When someone sends me one unasked for I feel burdened and presumed upon.
Now for the exposition: I understand that people have a hard time shopping for others sometimes and want hints as to their needs. And yet, I think there should be some other way of communicating needs than a list of desirous things.
Now the problem I'm really having is that no one else ever seems to think this way. Am I completely unreasonable? What do you think of "the list" and why? I want to sort through my feelings about this subject. I only know that I feel on a very instinctual level that they seem selfish and rude.
And why the focus on the self, is it not a season of giving? do we spend as much time dreaming about all the things we would give to our loved ones as we do on the "loot" we are going to receive? |
|
|
| blah blah blah (in falsetto) |
[Oct. 2nd, 2009|10:37 pm] |
Just read Tolstoy's "Family Happiness" and I found it a little depressing. I found I could see a relationship spiraling out of control through misunderstanding the way he showed it. Mistrust and doubt and misunderstanding. It made me want to always be honest in my marriage. A continuing spirit of unusual honesty is called for-- never let distance creep in.
In other news I'm sad that I can't go to the CPR land 30th anniversary Gala. I miss Mary Washington and carefreeness and professors. The other day I had a laugh because Jess Hensle and her beau Jimmy were visiting and I took her to this fun restaurant on the campus of UNM. There were college kids everywhere doing their college kid thing and I remarked that I missed being in college and just hanging out with people. Jess didn't miss it though. And I laughed and said its because her life is still like college whereas I have a million kids and things are definitely not college-y.
I actually wouldn't go back in time to then though even if it were possible. I like the progression. I love my family. Perhaps, I might have been intimidated if someone had told me what was in store.
I have had an interesting ongoing discussion recently with Eric. About being adults in our generation. This was prompted by my sister-in-law and I musing how we felt raising our children Catholic was difficult sometimes because our families and our peers' families weren't devoutly religious and we haven't really KNOWN a Catholic home life. We know what our own struggles have been to learn and practice holiness and we want to help our children by having better standards than our parents had for us. Eric reads this Catholic guy's blog and he recently discussed a similar theme. He said our Grandparent's generation is apparently called the greatest generation, I hadn't heard that before but I immediately recognized the validity there. They were the ones who sacrificed in ww2 and then came home and worked their butts off so their kids could lead priviledged lives. Their children were the baby boomers, known as the selfish generation, a generation marked by divorce and scandal, and us, their children have grown up without any sense of identity whatsoever. (I am speaking in generalities, but I sense the theme is true) Many of my friends, my peers, and I grew up without religion without guidelines or ethics or culture, and I think we miss them. I think we are blindly searching for Truth. And so we make up our own truth. And another thing I see tied into this is that we don't even have the truth of the classics anymore, of literature. Public education for the most part isn't equipping us with anything. You can't learn about Plato from reading an essay summarising the Republic. You learn from reading PLato. But our generation and this next generation aren't learning about our culture. How will we ever find ourselves in this befuddled generation?
Another thing: Italy has Dante, and Manzoni. Germany it's Goethe. England Shakespeare. Where is our National literature? Who would you say every American would proclaim to be our national author?
The end. |
|
|
| back in the saddle |
[May. 22nd, 2009|06:01 pm] |
So, things have been looking up. Isabelle came home on Wednesday, hurray! No more driving to Albuquerque ever again. We had to cajole the discharge nurse into letting her come home since Izzy was still eating rather poorly. We convinced her though that we knew what we were doing with preemiies and we now we feel vindicated too since she's been doing great at home.
In celebration today I cooked the first real dinner we've had in ages. I've missed cooking (that was a hard thing to give up with bedrest)! I made butternut squash soup, watercress and radish salad, creamed sugar snap peas with pancetta, and beer bread, all from scratch. It was really great, and it felt good to have multiple vegetables in one meal. I've noticed (through my newfound experience with meal ministry) that other people don't really use as many veggies as we are acustomed to eating.
It has been pleasantly raining/drizzling for the last couple days, I've missed rain. It's the first we've had in a very long time. |
|
|
| mmmn. . . trader joe's triple ginger snaps. . . holy shit, I have four kids??!! |
[May. 19th, 2009|10:19 pm] |
I have been feeling the urge to vent all day. Live journal seems the perfect outlet because not enough people read it nowadays for me to feel like I'm complaining a lot, but enough people read it to make me feel sympathized with. I hate ending sentences with prepositions. I'm too tired though to rewrite or edit anything thoguh, so let it be.
About three weeks ago I went into premature labor and the same day gave birth to little Maximilian and Isabelle. That was a good day. I got to ride in an air amubulance which was really fun! However, this premature birth thing is pretty lame in other ways, namely the indefinite hospitalization of my two sweet little babies. The only hospital that has a neonatal intensive care unit in the great state of new mexico is in Albuquerque and that is about 100 miles away from Los Alamos. So we spent the first two weeks of M&I's life next door to the hospital in the Ronald McDonald house. This is a sort of hostel for parents who have kids staying in the hospital. It provides cheap housing and food for the parents. It's a pretty nice setup, but we found it a bit tiring after a couple weeks (partly because it was hard to keep Helena and James out of trouble there) and decided to move home and drive to ABq everyday. So for a week and a half we have been making the trek down to see Max and Izzy. Though now we just go for Isabelle since Max came home last Sunday!
I just finished a rather large glass of chianti and have noticed that I feel rather incoherant as I write. But that's fine too.
Today sucked.
So Max is home and that is wonderful, he is the least demanding of all my children so far. All he does is eat sleep and poop. And the pooping isn't so bad since his butt is soooooo tiny. It doesn't even count as poop compared to the loads H&J like to drop.
Anyway, Helena and JAmes decided that it would be really fun to come down with a cold AND stomach virus to welcome home their new brother. Helly was sick a few days ago which means James was sick yesterday and today. Today though was the zenith I think-- he had a double ender. But I really wasn't monitoring him that closely since I was so preoccupied with Max being home (oh and Eric was gone all day in ABq because it was his turn to see Isabelle) so I didn't really consider the kinds of foods I should be feeding him. He had had moderate diarrhea all day which is fun, but then around five I fed him a big bowl of beans and sour cream and some diluted juice and that was maybe not the most brilliant parenting moment I've had. After he ate I sat down in the recliner to read to him and Helena. They were both curled up and snuggly when James sat up and started heaving. I just had time to move the pile of books out of my lap when he started spewing. All over me and Helena. She freaked out and jumped off the chair and I just sat and caught every thing he dished out. It was pretty much the most disgusting thing that's ever happened to me and that is rivaling a few other good parenting moments. I was saturated in puke from my neck to my knees. It even soaked through my underwear. Man, while I was cleaning everything up I just kept thinking how amazing it is how much you love your own children.
So that was rough, and Max started crying to be fed right about that time too.
I have four children under the age of two. I've been calling them Irish quads.
I'm glad I believe in GOd. Otherwise I would be more worried I think.
I saw a really bad car accident the other day outside abq and it gave me nightmares. |
|
|
| Easter adventures and still more snow! |
[Apr. 12th, 2009|05:23 pm] |
Man, sometimes little children cry, a lot.
Helena and James didn't wake up on the good side of their postnap bed. And the only thing that will make them stop crying is to be held. Not held sitting down of course, they need to be held by someone standing up. This creates a problem since there are two of them, and they are very heavy, and I cannot stand and hold either for any significiant period of time because I am roughly the size of a whale now and don't put up well with another 25lbs pulling me down. So that leaves poor Eric to hold two fussy babies while he starts prepping Easter dinner. He has them rigged in two slings on his body, and I think that nobody involved loves the situation, but the crying has been reduced about 85%. I can hear Eric singing his goofy, tuneless, songs to them in the kitchen, and I am mildly amused by the situation.
In other news, we got an Easter basket yesterday.
Not just any Easter basket though, this one was, well...
Thursday a person from church rang Eric up and asked if the ladies auxiliary group could bring me an Easter basket. Eric, said "sure," why not you know? He told me, and I said "that's sweet, so they will have like candy and stuff for Helly and James?" He said he guessed so... but he didn't really know from the sound of it, they had said it was specifically for me. I pondered this a little bit and said, I think you should call back and say we don't need it, I think they want to bring us Easter dinner, NOT just a little basket of goodies. I had this mental image of a huge ham being presented to me...
Even though I'm on bedrest Eric is still quite able to handle the cooking on weekends and we didn't need or expect anything for Easter. I would feel guilty accepting some extravagant gift, meant for people who have far greater need than myself. So Eric went to work saying he would call off the hounds. But when he came home that evening he said he had forgotten to ask about it. We tried to call someone, but didn't ahve any numbers after the office had closed and things were closed again on good friday so we just accepted that we would have to graciously accept whatever was brought to us. Saturday arrives and Eric watches as this tiny woman brings several loads of items from her truck. I walk out to see what she's brought and I'm floored by the amount of food.
There was literally enough food for 20 people! We know because the platters they ordered said how many people they would serve. It was a cold cut platter, like you would order from a deli complete with a platter of croissant, and a third huge spread of veggies. There was also a head of lettuce, a bag of tomatoes, an entire container of both mayo and mustard, two big bags of chips, an apple pie, and two easter eggs. We stared in shock. And then promptly called Eric's coworker up and invited her family to an imprompteau dinner. They obliged but we still have tons left over. It's pretty hilarious... at least it wasn't a ham. :) |
|
|
| candles burning snow falling |
[Dec. 15th, 2008|08:49 pm] |
mmmn... i miss livejournal. i miss too certain peoples bloggings that are no more. growing up is funny business. what changes, what doesn't. i have a nice life i think. sometimes, maybe too many times, i don't appreciate what i have. i find it interesting too, that in some ways i think marriage brings out the worst in you. perhaps i guess in the same way family does. but its strange sometimes i see myself acting or saying something and its like i'm watching myself from over my shoulder and wondering what on earth i am doing.
i had a really lovely thanksgiving. it was really good to see my brother and sisters and cousins. its amazing how comfortable it was. it was tiring too, the traveling and staying up late. but really good to catch up and feel loved and be around familiar faces. it was great seeing my babies toddle around in my grandparents house, the same house i was born in and toddled around every thanksgiving. i'm really sad for that house and these get togethers to come to an end. the time is drawing near. my grandparents are so old, and you wonder who will draw our scattered family together when they are gone?
the east coast was really lovely to see, deciduous trees (even without leaves)! |
|
|
| mmm... pork chop sandwiches |
[Nov. 9th, 2008|08:53 am] |
|
Well, it certainly is cold in the mountains of New Mexico. The other day it dropped to the low teens, I'm from Virginia where it doesn't get below thirty till January. This poses an interesting problem for us in our new house. When we bought the place we knew that our furnace was a known fire/carbon monoxide hazard--that's why we so kindly asked the previous owners to purchase us a new one. Which was all well and good except the person who we wanted to put in our new furnace apparently was booked through November. Which means no new furnace for us and it's 12 degrees outside. And inside. So we caved and turned on the old fire hazard one and are crossing our fingers that the house doesn't catch on fire. Its nerve wracking though because it makes really ominous rumblings all the time. I swear its going to blow up or something. But would I rather freeze to death or blow up? I think I'd prefer the warm death. |
|
|
| i feel bleh |
[Sep. 17th, 2008|09:39 am] |
Man, we have been living out of suitcases for two and a half months. That's a long time. Frankly I'm a little grouchy about the fact. I don't like sleeping on an smallish air mattress with three other people. I also miss my cooking utensils.
I've been thinking about materialism and asceticism and trying to figure out what I think about those ideas. I used to like the idea of giving up everything I own and living in solidarity with the poor. I guess I still do like the idea, just not the actuality as much as I thought. I've found that instead of having a positive attitude about it, I've grown more discontented. I didn't even realize I was so attached to some of my belongings. There is a sense of comfort that one derives by being surrounded by familiar objects. I miss my books and my art and my chairs. . . I don't really know what I make of it, I can't decide whether its better to be completely detached from material things or to enjoy your possesions as blessings.
Or maybe something else altogether. "Give up all you possess and follow me." What does that even mean? |
|
|
| great flaming pine nuts, batman! |
[Sep. 8th, 2008|07:11 pm] |
So, the other night Eric and I were feeling gourmet and we decided to try our hands at creating a New Mexican apple pie. Recipe in hand we went to the store to pick up the specialty items required for this unique pie, namely green chilies and pine nuts. After making our purchase we went back to the apartment and we decided Eric would start work on the pie and I would put the babies to sleep.
Perhaps ten minutes later Eric yells my name from the other room. The babies who were just drifting off, startle, and I call back a rather irritated "what?"
No answer.
I'm confused because Eric had called me pretty loudly and I doubted he would have risked waking the babies without a good reason, so I call out again "Eric!"
Still no answer.
I pause and listen a moment and am starting to feel quite frustrated, I yell once more, "what did you want?" and as I call I sit up and look out into the hall. What should I see but the image of flames reflecting off the white wall.
I leap out of bed and rush into the kitchen-- the entire kitchen appears to be on fire! Eric shouts for help and I rush to the bathroom and grab a towel to beat the flames. When I come back to the fire I realize it's not one big fire as I first thought, but many tiny ones that are easily put out.
After the fire is put out, I look at Eric and laugh. He kinda shrugs and looks apologetic. "I had trouble roasting the pine nuts." he remarks.
Now we have tiny little blackened spots all over our linoleum. |
|
|
| blow me away |
[Aug. 19th, 2008|03:54 pm] |
I live in Los Alamos, New Mexico!
It is beautiful here- breezy, cool, with mountains in every direction. We arrived here by way of Italy and France. Both of which were beautiful as well. We traveled with babes in tow alongside trusty friends Molly and Jana. We climbed rocks and took trains, saw an opera with ten thousand others, ate gelato, worshiped the beautiful, lamented the ugly, lazed on sunny nude beaches, and experienced bouillabaisse! It was a lovely time, full of fun stories to remember for a long time hereafter.
Eric and I arrived home to Bowie late-late on the 12th and were greeted the next morning by the movers. After they removed the bulk of our earthly possesion's we crammed everything else into our one small vehicle and hauled off. We drove through West Virginia to say goodbye to some family and buy some tires; then headed south to Alabama to visit some friends. We slept one night in Tennessee and two in Texas (which was unfortunate, Texas does not agree with Eric). Finally we crossed into the land of enchantment, and we were well...enchanted to say the least. It is so beautiful and mesmerizing out here. I love it! I love doing something new, being somewhere new. getting to do my own thing and find my own way with my own family. it feels good.
Oh and Eric's got a new blog if you are interested: http://logananderic.blogspot.com |
|
|
| music in my brain |
[Jul. 13th, 2008|01:30 am] |
I've been working on my friend Meghan's house a little bit. She has me prepping the exterior for painting which involves lots of tedious scraping of windows and sanding. I haven't really done much yet, but what I have done has reminded me how enjoyable working outside is. Today I was up on the hot roof, sweating away, totally focused on the task at hand (removing rotted caulk) and I just felt inexplicably happy.
Oh so I moved to Maryland.
Temporarily.
However, in August I am picking up and moving to New Mexico. So take that!
My brain I think is fried. I am really excited that for the next four weeks neither Eric nor I have any serious work obligations. How lovely. |
|
|
| help me to not die slowly |
[May. 23rd, 2008|11:14 am] |
"Let's try and avoid death in small doses,
reminding oneself that being alive requires an effort far greater than the simple fact of breathing.
Only a burning patience will lead
to the attainment of a splendid happiness."
-Neruda
Recently a friend of mine reminded me about living in the present. I hadn't even noticed, but I have not been living presently very well. It makes me a little ashamed too. I have been wallowing in self pity too much and I need to pull myself together, shake myself a little, and pay attention before I miss something.
Well, while I'm gathering courage to do all that stuff, I'll tell you about the future.
So much is happening and it can be overwhelming. I'm really excited that maybe someday soon I'll go through an entire year without a major life event.
In one month Eric and I are moving out of our apartment into a room in my friends house in Bowie, MD. This is a temporary arrangement while we wait to find out what is happening to us in the fall. We did that thing that you aren't supposed to do, quit your jobs before you have secured a new one. However, in our situation we are fairly confident that this was not as seemingly irresponsible as our famlies think, but a necessary decision based on our unique circumstances.
Eric and I were trying really hard to get into an overseas missions program. I really wanted to go to Africa. Sadly there weren't a lot of options for famlies and our search has slowed and possibly stopped. We even flew out to Chicago to interview for one program, but they didn't have a placement for a family this year. So. While it may still happen, it is not looking likely. I'm somewhat disappointed, but we shall see.
Eric has been applying to jobs all over the country, and there is one youth ministers position that he is hoping to land in Los Alamos, NM. He had a really good interview and we are keeping our fingers crossed and dancing excitedly whenever the phone rings. I love New Mexico and would be very happy to live out there for a few years. Los Alamos is near Santa Fe too which means St. John's if I get my act together and actually finish my essays.
AND finally, more ITALY! We are taking a little vaycay in Italia and France at the end of July into August. We are flying into Milan, and then spending 5-7 days rock climbing and touring around the Northern parts of the boot. After that we will catch a train to the south of France and rent some bikes and with our babes clinging to us for dear life we shall speed through the riviera and into provence. My dear friend Molly is coming with us and hopefully we'll meet up with some friends while abroad too. I'm anticipating lots and lots of fun and FOOD. |
|
|
| Death is weird |
[Apr. 27th, 2008|11:08 pm] |
So.
Rest in God's peace Doris Horne.
A death, a wake, a funeral.
Eric's Grandmother died on Wednesday, she was old, it was sooner than expected but not out of the blue. I was sad for her even though I didn't ever know her very well, she had always been an invalid since I entered the scene.
I spent today with the family at the funeral home for "the viewing." There were two shifts, totaling about five hours in a small room with a dead body on one end. I kept thinking of the expression "elephant in the room" except replacing elephant with dead body and chuckling to myself. Viewings are a strange custom. Like a cocktail party gone terribly awry (I believe that's pronounced awe-ry). If this family was Irish at least there'd be booze to console us in our grief and awkwardness. I find it remarkable how these events stick out in our minds-- that I'd find it so fascinating an experience that it compelled me to seek out a blog for an ear. How is it we find death such a strange event even though it's as natural as birth? Somehow we never know what to say, I mean I'm standing next to a corpse trying my hardest not to stare while carrying on banal chit- chat about the weather and college finals. It seemed as if know nobody wanted to mention the death yet we were standing next to the dead woman.
People interest me in their grieving processes too. Some were obviously very emotional and torn, others stoic; some withdrawn while others became extremely extroverted. I've had close relatives die, my own Grandmother's death was hard for me. But at the same time there is a natural order to Grandparents dying that helps with the grief. YOu know that it will happen one day. I imagine parents dying is similar in that you always know that one day you will have to bury them, though you always hope that day is far enough away whatever "far enough" means. Parents seem a little harder because you know that you're next among other things, it makes you confront you're own mortality a little bit more seriously, nothing is seeming to stand in the way anymore. I thought too about my husband dying, and that, that, was hard. Harder even than thinking of my own death. I think it would hit in a whole different way. I was able to imagine dealing with my parents, g-parents etc., but I couldn't even imagine being able to cope with losing Eric. It made me really feel for Eric's Grandfather, who seems so lost now. My heart aches more for him than anyone. The children have their wives, their families to console them. The Grandchildren are blessed with distance. But poor Jack is so alone. God can seem very far away at times.
One sweet story: Doris before she died suffered from late stages of dementia, she wasn't really with it or usually very affectionate. The night though before she died she asked Jack to kiss her goodnight before he left. One last time. |
|
|
| Woo hoo, throw your vote away day, 2008! |
[Feb. 12th, 2008|11:34 pm] |
|
I do not actually think I threw my vote away today. I think it's very important for the principled few to actually vote for what they believe in rather than pander to some dumb political game. |
|
|
| and she's chosen to believe in the hymns her mother sang |
[Feb. 10th, 2008|12:06 am] |
I'm been listening to Iron&Wine all day and it's funny when music tints your perspective on life. My lifeview has become poetic and mellow.
My cousin apparently blew the whistle yesterday on the US state department in Bolivia where he is studying for his Fulbright. I guess uncle sam wanted him to "spy" on cuban doings in Bolivia, but apparantly this is illegal for the government to ask students to do this sort work. Go figure. Anyways, Alex has been making some nice airtime on ABC over the whole shady business and we're all very proud of him over here. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
longleggedlogan's journal